Propositum

I went through something rough. I let myself get put through something rough. It is my fault for staying in an abusive relationship but the ...

Mike

Like with all of Luz's guy friends, she assured me she had not slept with Mike. Time and again I thought something was a bit too familiar with them and so I would ask. She would deny every time. She used to live with him and I did not know this. But, very early on she had told me a story about a casual relationship she had with this guy she lived with. They would sleep together on occasion and it was just that. The story came up because she asked me at omen point if I ever just had sex for the pleasure of it, "You never just used a condom and had sex just for the pleasure of it?" This conversation stuck in my head pretty well because I have a somewhat puritanical view of sex. I only have sex—make love—with people I love. As I found out as time went on, Luz had a very different view of sex like when she screamed at me on several occasions when she lied to me about various guys she slept with and kept around, "Sex is just sex. It means nothing!"

At one point, she finally admitted that she had slept with Mike. Then at some point she let me know that this was the guy she was living with and sleeping with then. Later she let me know that she was living with Mike at the time she was in a committed relationship with Johnny. I don't think she realized that I remembered our previous conversation when she told me she had been sleeping with this guy she was living with. So, she accidentally let me know after lying to me for years about this guy that she was cheating on her previous committed relationship with this guy.

It was pretty close to the end of our relationship when I made this connection. It bolstered my worries about those nights when she would disappear until around 1 AM. But, even though this pushed me closer to leaving, it did not convince me to do so. Even this late in our relationship, I wish I would have done the right thing and left.