Propositum

I went through something rough. I let myself get put through something rough. It is my fault for staying in an abusive relationship but the ...

Chewing Gum

One day I left work and realized I had to get gas. So, I stopped at a gas station in Mill Valley where I was working. I got gas, went inside and got a pack of gum, and used the bathroom. I got back in my truck and headed home. When I got home, Luz was just arriving as well. Out in front of the condo I went to kiss her and she backed away. I asked her what was the matter (this time!). She said that it was weird that I was chewing gum. I asked her why that was weird. I almost always have gum in my car and I am not constantly chewing it but it is not uncommon. She said that I never chew gum. This was just baffling. I love having a fresh piece of gum and somehow she had lost all memory of me chewing gum? Even if it was rare, how is it weird that I decided to have some gum.

But once again, she went into a week or more of treating me like a pariah—avoiding me by hugging the wall in the halls, closing the door at night to the bedroom to make sure I knew I was not welcome, and her general silence. All that until her usual screaming at me as I pressed her a week or more later to quit this. Like the other times with the rose or lip biting or the seat belt, she could not imagine how I did not understand how she would act like she does because I was chewing gum. I knew that in her mind somehow it added up to me cheating. Just for chewing gum.

Once again I bore it and weathered the storm and stayed. I did not deserve to be treated like that and with so many incidents of this type, why did I ever think it would change. I was such a moron.