You have no right to Cian

A few days after the window incident, when I had tired of her ignoring me and acting like I was someone she could not stand, I asked her why she was treating me like this. She started in on me again yelling that I never tell her what is going on. Her first example was that Thursday when I stayed out with Roark an hour longer than usual. When I reminded her that I had told her only 20 minutes after I found out, she screamed at me that that was not the only time. Then she brought up when I helped my mom install a window in her house a couple days before when I had been asked right at the time they needed me. Luz brought these up as examples and continued to try and tell me the same thing even though what she was claiming was undeniably false. She knew it but her rage took over like usual and she just kept screaming at me.

That night I was taking care of Cian out in the living room. He fell asleep and I set him down so I could go grab something from the kitchen. While I was in the kitchen, Luz came out of the bedroom, grabbed Cian, and then went back to the bedroom and closed the door.

Then the next night, we had had an argument. She was angry at me because I told her she had an anger issue (which I have brought up on several occasions). I was holding Cian and I had just gotten him to sleep. She had been back in the bedroom for a while, I guess stewing on what I had told her earlier. She came out from the bedroom to the living room and pulled Cian out of my arms. I was not going to play tug-of-war with our little one so I just let her take him. As she was walking back to the bedroom, I told her, "you can't do that. You can't just take him from me." Halfway to the bedroom she screamed at me, “You have no rights to him!” My son, Talon heard this and it was a sad discussion to have to have explaining what was going on to a 14 year old boy who loves Luz but doesn’t really know who she is.

She continued into the bedroom, slammed the door, and locked it so I could not be with Cian the rest of the night. Once again, she used that awesome baby to try to hurt me.

A hard day (so you can't hold your son)

On Thursday, December 20 2018, I left home for work in the morning. That evening, like every Thursday, I got to hang out with Roark. Roark wanted a bit more time than usual to shop for Luz. So, he asked his mom if he could stay out later that night. She gave him an hour more. We called Luz shortly after that and told her we were going to be out just one hour longer than usual. When I got home that night I found Luz sitting on the bed holding Cian. At this time it had been about 14 hours since I had seen him and about 20 hours since I had held him. So, I was really missing him. I asked her if I could hold him. She would not look up at me. She did not even acknowledge that I had spoken. She just ignored me. Then I asked her what was wrong. She just said it had been really hard. I am not sure how. Cian is the best easiest baby I have ever known. But, somehow it was my fault and she was not going to allow me to hold my son whom I had not held for almost an entire day. I was going to have to wait even longer until she would allow me to hold him. And for what? What did I do to deserve to have my son kept from me? Once again she used him to try to hurt me.

So, I left her alone. I found my way in to see Cian and take care of him during the night like I usually do when she has not locked the bedroom door to keep he and I apart.