When Luz and I had been together for about a year when she started to do something weird. When my ex-wife would call to talk about or to the boys, Luz would get angry and ask me repeatedly, "Why is that her name?" Incredulously I would ask, "What do you mean?" And she would just repeat her question. This happened several times and each time I would have no idea what to say when she read my ex-wife's name on my phone when she called. She would just ask "Why is that her name?" every time without any explanation even though I was asking for her to explain. At one point Luz got to screaming it at me, "Why is that her name?!!" over and over.
I kept thinking about it trying to figure out how to appease Luz. I wanted to stop causing her such distress but I did not know what to do. She gave me no explanation and the fact that my ex-wife's name is her name and her last name is my last name because of simply explained reasons, Luz was never close to satisfied or appeased. This repeated berating by Luz finally drove me to just change the name that showed up on my phone so it was my ex-wife's maiden name rather than my last name even though that was not her name.
That was the end of it. All that pain and arguing and bewilderment and anxiety and it was all because my ex-wife's last name was my last name. I went through it all again losing a little bit more of my self respect like every other incident. I was an idiot. I should have seen how irrational and how poor of a communicator Luz was and I should have known these were not things that would change for her. Instead I tried to change myself to appease her irrationality. That never works. I should have left her.