Propositum

I went through something rough. I let myself get put through something rough. It is my fault for staying in an abusive relationship but the ...

Leisa

Luz has a long time friend. They have known each other for decades and I think she spent more time with Leisa than any of her other friends while we were together. They were old volleyball friends. I would not hesitate to say that they were best friends.

One night Luz and I went into the city to have some fun. Leisa was going to meet us. But, the night continued and Leisa did not show and then eventually said she was not going to make it. We finished our night in the city without incident. I say without incident because Luz had an uncanny way of bringing up things from the past or making something out of nothing like the rose, gum, or dressing up for her and starting a fight. If she had a few drinks while we were out, she usually started something.

We finished our fun in the city and were making our way back to my place in Pleasanton. She was driving and I was talking and trying to create some sort of conversation with Luz. That was usually very difficult unless she was angry or mad about something—which was usually her being angry at me for something. I asked her, "Leisa is financially independent. She has her own home and it is pretty nice. And she is not bad looking. Why has she not had a long term serious relationship?" Luz got immediately defensive. I could see right away this was going to be the incident I was expecting for the night.

Luz got all upset. She asked me if I wanted Leisa. She kept on with it like that until we got to my place. Once inside while I begged and pleaded with her to understand I was just asking out of curiosity and I did not want Leisa, she demanded I show her all my messages. She wanted to see my Apple Messages, facebook messages, emails, and even my LinkedIn messages. This sounds like a short scenario but the arguing and pleading took at least an hour. I showed her everything trying to prove to her that my very slight compliment did not mean that Leisa and I had something going on between us. Luz was so sure of it that she eventually left. She left me there to endure another couple weeks of her ignoring me and putting me through the anxiety of thinking that she was gone.

All I did was ask out of curiosity about her friend because I thought maybe there was some significant reason. I gave her a slight compliment and Luz turned into arguing, suspicion, and more pain for weeks. She thought that compliment meant that her best friend of decades had something going on with me.

Once again, I should have left her. Right there, that was enough pain, paranoia, delusion, and jealousy to run most people off and they would be wise to run. Instead, I endured it and let her do it to me again and again.